What you should say to somebody who has miscarried – and what you shouldn’t | Janet Murray

I was saved by a friend who didn’t offer explanations for the loss of my baby or try to ‘fix’ things but listened, and knew that ‘I’m sorry’ was all I needed to hear

“At least you know you can get pregnant,” said my doctor friend when I told her I’d had a miscarriage, 12 weeks into my first pregnancy, and following a painful struggle with infertility. “There was probably something wrong with the baby,” said one relative. “Just think of all the fun you’ll have trying again,” said another.

After my second miscarriage – a rare form of ectopic pregnancy – the focus was on the fact I was already a mother. “At least you’ve already got a child,” well-meaning friends told me, as did the surgeon who delivered the news that the pregnancy – and subsequent surgery – had left me infertile.

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Continue reading... October 12, 2017 at 05:33PM